Tales from the Drunk Side, Episode 2

It was approximately 1am in San Jose.

Generally around this time, the streets were packed from partiers leaving the clubs, as in our case.

My girlfriend and I had just left Club Vertigo (it's changed names several times since) but weren't ready for our night to end.

We caught up with the cruisers on Santa Clara Street which were heading east toward King and Story road. This was the nexus for youngsters, still drunk from the clubs, to try and hook up with others who had the same agenda.

Why we used to do it, I don't know. Call it boredom.

This evening, however, the cops decided to call it a night. The orange cones and flashing lights, with police standing in the middle of the road, were diverting drivers onto Highway 101.

You could see the disappointment in our fellow cruisers. The next stop would be to reconvene at the local Jack in the Box and party in the parking lot like idiots. Of course we didn't realize we were idiots at the time.

The meters leading to 101 were on (which never made sense to me. It's the middle of the night. Where's the traffic?) and my friend and I were at a stand-still, waiting for the next car to merge.

But the girls in the car in front of us were too busy trying to hook up with the car next to them, that they kept missing the 'green light'.

Now, please keep in mind that we were drunk:

I honked the horn several times, which got their attention, and yelled out the window, "Go!", putting my hands up in the air for emphasis.

"Fuck you!" was their response, to which we responded, "No, fuck you!"

Intelligent conversation going on here.

Next thing we new, homegirls in the car ahead pulled out a fucking gun. A gun!

This is San Jose people, not Boyz n the Hood.

The bitch in the passenger seat, sticks her upper torso out the window, aiming the gun directly at us.

It all happened rather fast, but our instincts got the best of us.

We threw our hands up like Italian gangsters. "What the fuck?!" I yelled.

Then I pulled up closer to their car. By this time, the cars in front (not to mention the guys the girls were trying to hook up with) had managed to merge onto the highway without having their lives threatened.

My girlfriend put her head out the window and yelled "Fuck you!"

This behavior was VERY out of character for her. She was more of a 'let's hug it out, bitch' type of girl. So, I got even more fired up when she was.

We started flipping them off and then eventually, they got onto the highway, the passenger pulling herself back through the window, like a cowering wimp.

All amped up, and officially stupid, once I got onto the freeway, I hauled ass after those bitches, and when we caught up, we continued to give them the one-finger salute, exchanging obscenities.

I don't know what we would have done had we actually been face to face with them, but fortunately, they made a quick exit off of the freeway and we never had to find out.